2003-11-15

Sixteen has been this week the number of the muses and the amusement of the fates.

When You Go Away

When you go away the wind clicks around to the north
The painters work all day but at sundown the paint falls
Showing the black walls
The clock goes back to striking the same hour
That has no place in the years

And at night wrapped in the bed of ashes
In one breath I wake
It is the time when the beards of the dead get their growth
I remember that I am falling
That I am the reason
And that my words are the garment of what I shall never be
Like the tucked sleeve of a one-armed boy

-- W.S. Merwin
Available tonight in the church vestibule:
hand crafted eucharistic goblets made by Palestinian Christians
and a priest's prayer
for food for help for faith for perseverance
for peace
for those still living in Palestine
and aren't they all
aren't we all
still living in Palestine?
Still living in the mandate of a land whose borders have been drawn and re-drawn
swords drawn
guns drawn over a mountain promised to nations
beholden to no-one
and no-one looked up at the man holding a basket for the only food bank in three towns
as we filed out the back door
averting our eyes from the young woman with no coat pushing
well-bundled baby towards
young men smoking on the front step of the package store, who stand as we exit
watching the exodus
old ladies crossing the street to avoid dark men in dark doorways
clutching handbags and rosaries to their chests

2003-11-14

Swing, and the leaves leap sky-high. Fasting is not limited to food. Silence from 4:16 to 5:14 (not quite 36 hours). These are not my people but this is good advice.

2003-11-13

At the windows, the wind, the wind. Il nombre roots backwards to reason.
Ninematches. Can we get a better last line for Cal, please?

Leonardo's Bicycle

Like Ceres trying to free her daughter
Before Jove clipped her, a queen card, to the spokes
Of light and dark, where she still flaps, stiff and sore,
You're married to one condition.

You could leave the island whose shore
You circle distractedly, your feet
Bleeding from its cut-tin-can-lid sharpness,
If you swam out beyond your three-chord

Grammar, as Scarlatti flew like a prince,
On a weave-it-as-you-ride-it carpet, "into
Remotest tonal regions," being a
Specialist in investigative harmony.

Leonardo drew a bicicletta
Of wood and metal, sleeker than his deck-
Umbrella flying machine. Why should he build it?
It was born intact, outlandish, as idea.

(Besides, the wheels could turn neither right
Nor left, they went straight as a dream, with that
Kind of determination and perfection.)
Do you see? You could practice a certain

Stationary vibration, like a bicycle
Just leaned against a wall, and still make
A revolution, cliff-browed like Beethoven's,
Whose forms stand as solid as Haydn's

But whose heart was clouded with the genius
Of taking drama to be normal—as it was
For Proserpine, who, given a whirl,
Uttered now phlox, now roots,

Quite as if an impatient hand
Should draw and erase, draw and erase
An imperfectly penciled bicycle wheel.
Which freed Ceres to hear Arethusa's tale

Of terrified pursuit: how, after she hung
Her clothes on a yielding willow bough
And dived into the stream, she felt the god's
Lung-deep breath sweep through her hair

And screamed. Whereupon the goddess Ortygia
Doused the whole scene in fog, leaving
The god to thrash about blind in white night
While he felt for her salmon calves, her otter back.

But then she became a cataract; she lived
A dramatic life. As you would if you turned
So deaf a child's shriek from the street
Could make you smile over your meal,

Which as usual you eat alone, dipping a heel
Of bread into your soup, before you hear again,
Vivace e con brio, the silver wheels
Of a rondo no tricky instruments are riding,

Like water plunging down a cliff
On an imaginary island,
As tears fall in the realms of drama,
Where nymphs take off their clothes and die.

-- Cal Bedient
Artistic Talent: Smoking, obituary-writing, bathtub-cleaning, heart-breaking.
Birthplace: Rochester, New York.
Career Aspirations at Age 6: A lost year.
Dreams, Recurring: Walking down forever streets, through alleys and endless corridors, in and out of cafés and shops shops can't stop until I find... whomever it is I'm looking for.
Elementary School, name of: St. Joseph School, Enfield Connecticut.
Fabrics and Materials, favorite to wear on body: Water.
Gym, work out at one?: Hand, one, can count excursions on.
Happy Memory: First year out, long snarly pink curls, dark and loud, long and thin and spiky and blonde, Bjork and a cigarette, two drinks, she and her camera bag.
Introvert or Extrovert?: Gregarious introvert.
Jewelry/Trinkets Worn Regularly: Glasses.
Killer App, Favorite: Torture.
Latest Book Read: She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb. Fuck Oprah - it's good.
Medications (Rx), regular: Currently abstaining.
Nickname(s), current: No.
Operating System of Choice (for desktop): Mac OS X.
Pets, current: 2 cats: Charlie and Cleo. Foster-care. Thank you.
Queer?: Sporadically when not celibate. Sigh.
Role Models, current: Wind.
Sleepwear, typical: Winter: Flannel pants and t-shirt. Summer: Nix the flannel. Sporadically: Nada.
University Degree(s): Ps.A.* in English poetry, S.S.* in philosophy and political theory.
Virginity, age lost at: Is there a gradient?
Weather, favorite: Cool fall days on the edge of rain. I enjoy stealing Burke's answers.
X-e's you're on speaking terms with, numbers/percentage of: 50%
Yard/Rummage Sales, do you go?: When leisure permits and interest upholds; not often.
Zen Moments: Yardwork, late-late-night running; that "oh my god I've been coding since dinnertime and it's sunrise" feeling.
XV minutiae

In which Quis makes it into nerve with a "Gratuitous Remix Award."

The opening lines of "Baby Got Back," by Sir Mix-a-Lot, translated into Latin by livejournal user Quislibet.

mehercle!
(By Hercules!)
Rebecca, ecce! tantae clunes isti sunt!
(Rebecca, behold! Such large buttocks she has!)
amica esse videtur istorum hominum rhythmicorum.
(She appears to be a girlfriend of one of those rhythmic-oration people.)
sed, ut scis,
(But, as you know)
quis homines huiusmodi intellegere potest?
(Who can understand persons of this sort?)
colloquuntur equidem cum ista eo tantum, quod scortum perfectum esse videtur.
(Verily, they converse with her for this reason only, namely, that she appears to be a complete whore.)
clunes, aio, maiores esse!
(Her buttocks, I say, are rather large!)
nec possum credere quam rotondae sint.
(Nor am I able to believe how round they are.)
Fourteen.

coming.


Should Our Undoing Come Down Upon Us White

Even while we talked, snow must have been falling. Now it's a scar:
I've mostly failed in the rooms

of honesty and forthrightness. Let me
explain. A child says, Stand anywhere you want

right here. I watch her sled. Orange plastic, busted,
duct-taped in two places, it barely waits for her

before shooting the steep drive. At four,
she is all snot, bangs, and spunk. She plods and sculpts.

After many tries, she settles into something
the sled finds true.


-- Jill Osier

2003-11-11

to remember

Today is the 148th anniversary of Soren's death. It is also Armistace Day, a day to remember the War to End All Wars. It is also Dostoevsky's birthday as well as Vonnegut's. It is a good day to remember.

allegedly, Soren's last words were "The bomb explodes and the conflagration will follow."


per Burke. It is a good day.

2003-11-10

It's good advice, Mr. Bell.
quiet
I am sleeping

and I've known sleeping women

2003-11-09

Thirteen. I remember this.

Arcadia


As if a country kitchen were where we sat
and you wore a smock, and I an apron,
as I rocked a newborn asleep in his cot,
while through the door came laughter from our other children,

and this table, instead of papers and books,
held a jug of ale and a weekly wage,
while the scent of baked ham spread as it cooked,
and with one hand I stirred in onion and sage,

I caught you lift your straggling thoughts over a fence,
your face framed offguard, gazing fields away,
as you herded your words into a sentence,
your eyes brown and deep as the soil's clay.


-- Sarah Wardle
i'm letting the blood
out of my nicotine stream

she said once
and I believe her.
They came just as I swept to the curb the last of the front-yard oak leaves, lights flashing to the sound of fife and drum. In honor of my triumph over leaf-raking, Enfield threw me a parade! Me and Veteran's day. Strangest moment of the day: a Revolutionary War re-enactment group whistling "Dixie."
...
I am overwhelmed by the good design and honest poetry and viz art and prose available on the net so I flee outside; I fall into a pile of leaves (dilligence rewarded) singing gillian welch to the birds in the front tree (who sit and look at me, the funny creature on the ground; come up here, why don't you? so I do but it's too much, it's been four in the afternoon for hours now and it'll be dark soon). Too much today. There's so much and I'm trying to swallow when I should breathe it in, so I choke and hack - too many cigarettes - should try more tea and less semicolon abuse. Semicolons are comfy chairs, arrows telling me to Bear Right at this turn, the road doesn't intersect but it bends and now it's got a new name. I don't write well on drugs. So.