The federal government has indicted Roy McArthur Belfast, Jr. (the artist formerly known as Charles Taylor) for engaging in torture, thereby violating 18 U.S.C. § 2340A. Watching closely now.

blessings

Know what you need? Tiny gods made of chocolate.

...

& while you're at it,

Guinness Chocolate Cheesecake
From the Somethingawful.com forums (subforum "Goons with Spoons")

Crust:
1 C. chocolate cookie crumbs
1/4 C. butter, softened
2 T. white sugar
1/4 tsp. baking cocoa

Cake:
3 (8 oz.) packages cream cheese, softened
1 C. white sugar
3 eggs
8 (1 oz.) squares semisweet chocolate
2 T. whipping cream
1 C. sour cream
1/8 tsp. salt
3/4 C. Guinness

Topping:
1 C. heavy whipping cream
3 T. confectioners' sugar
2 T. Guinness

First of all, preheat your oven to 350 F (175 C), and move a rack to the middle position. Then, pour yourself a beverage.
Next, butter a 9 or 10 inch springform pan.

Then take some foil and wrap the bottom of it. It helps if you have the extra-wide foil - the foil is to keep the water of the water bath OUT of the cake, because soggy cheesecake sucks it. Either way, wrap it up the sides, then trim the edges, and don't rip it.

Since I cannot find chocolate cookie crumbs in the store, I am forced to buy chocolate cookies and crush them my damn self. I find that a ziploc bag and a rolling pin work very well for this, especially since I don't have a food processor. If you have one, feel free to use it.

Once you've got your crumbs well-crushed, combine them with the sugar and butter in a small bowl, and mix well. Pat this mixture gently into the bottom of your pan, then set the pan aside. Carefully.

Then take a medium-sized bowl and throw your cream cheese in there. It is very important that it is softened. Beat it until it's smooth. If there are lumps in there now, you will be a sad panda when the cheesecake is done.

Gradually add the 1 C. sugar, beating, again, until smooth. Continue drinking your chosen beverage, and don't forget to scrape down the bowl once in a while.

Add the eggs, one at a time. Beat at low speed until it is the smoothest motherfucker on the block, and a beautiful buttery-yellow color.

Unwrap your 8 oz. chocolate, and melt them together with the 2 T. whipping cream. You have two options here - a double-boiler, or 2 to 3 minutes in the microwave. You choose. Either way, stir it until smooth oh god I am sick of repeating myself already. While you're at it, put a big-ass pot of water on to boil; you'll need it in a bit. Add the chocolate mixture to the cream cheese mixture. Say goodbye to your perfect buttery-yellow batter. Stir in the sour cream and salt, and finish off your beverage.

And then, pour your Guinness. Pour yourself the rest of the Guinness (and maybe save 2 T. of it if you don't want to crack open another later). Add your Guinness to your cheesecake, creating an unholy matrimony of two of the greatest damned things on earth. Don't forget all of the head.

If it's not smooth by now, shoot yourself.

Pour this delicious mixture into your prepared pan. I find that it helps immensely to have my pan in its waterbath pan as well. Place this on your oven rack, and add the boiling water (from that pot from earlier) until it is halfway up the sides of the pan.

Gently slide your cake in the oven, and bake for 45 minutes at 350 F. Lick every implement you can find.

After 45 minutes, the cake should still be wobbling like a drunken sailor in the center. This is a good thing. Turn your oven off, crack the door, and set your timer for another 45 minutes, and let the cake gradually cool off in the turned-off oven. If you haven't already, drink some more Guinness.

Once the timer goes off again, remove your cheesecake, and remove the foil from the bottom of the pan. Run a knife around the outside edge to loosen it, cover it loosely, and stick it in the fridge for 12 hours.

The next day (or day after), make some whipped cream. Pour the remainder of your whipping cream (or 1 C. exactly, whatever) into a bowl. Add your sugar. If you want matching-flavored whipped cream, add the 2 T. Guinness. Otherwise don't worry about it.

Beat the shit out of it.

Run your knife around the outside edge again, and remove the outer portion of the springform pan. Slice yourself a deee-licious slice of cheesecake, top with whipped cream, and beat up all who would dare eat your cheesecake.

...

&

Water
My favourite memory of us
      is of that day we washed each other's hair,
standing in the waterfall
of the shower, that moment sweet
      succulent as fruit, complete as
a circle,      the prowl of knowledge beneath
it bitter and delicate as the powder
      on a butterfly wing, powerful
as a secret.

We kissed and drew in water.

Do you remember what I had
said to you, a year before? How could
      I not love you? How could I
not? We had just met. You had
a birthmark the shape of Africa
      on your chest; my heart had a
void in its vocabulary just the size
of your name. Love is so small. It
could fit into the hole in a bead, the eye
      of a needle, and still not seal it.
It's this world that is so huge.

Now our lives feel reduced
to abacuses.
I count the days it will be before
      I can see you, you count
the days it's been since I left.

This is a city of rain.
And chaos – I smile to myself,
navigating its corridor-like
      streets filled with schoolchildren
hitching yellow autorickshaws, drizzle
flecking their eyelashes, the morning
still not arrived in their eyes.

I lick moisture from my lips
      and am sure
I taste salt, a kiss of tears.

Pain only appears in
the presence of love. This much
I can say I have learnt
      by heart. Here in this place of
chaos so profound it silences
mine,

I wrap my secrets in skin and
hug them close,

imagine drawing out parabolas
of steel and silk from the centre
      of my palm to the
centre of yours, like bridges,

delicate, taut
as the webbing
on a bat's    wing,

and wait for you to reach
across the distance and pick
      the pieces up, so precise
I could almost taste those
      kisses

slippery as our love. Almost
forget how imprecise to desire bringing
shape to a love like water –
profound, perfect, universal.

Nothing else will save us now.

-- Sharanya Manivannan

good things this week, counting backwards

an envelope out to post

snow flurries out of the blue sky

a dozen different-colored rainslickers over little boots, traveling under teacher's umbrella

Blood Diamond (devastating and very good. see it with someone, and prepare something heartwarming & faith-restoring for your return home.)

papers written and exam aced

Belinda, singing her way down the sidewalk

warm rain, thunderstorms

good friends

bad TV

more beautiful days