Are you paying attention?

It costs big time!

photographs

today is better than yesterday

Aaaaah. Stamps. I need stamps. I need to finish lines on paper. I need to talk more when I have more to say instead of letting the inverse stagnate away. This is crazy. I drove blind, reeling to forced noise. How did I get to work? Woke up here. I am not using you to wait for him. Things are not that linear.

I wanted everything for a little while
Why shouldn't I
I wanted to know what it was like
I pushed you too far
And you started laying down the law
'Til I didn't love you anymore

So there we both were in that little house
Just hanging out
You didn't know what you were about
And you turned to me as you were
Threading daisies on a chain
You said it's decision time again

And the ground's gonna swallow you
I was wrong
'Cause I was wrong
I wanted everything for a little while
Why shouldn't I
I wanted to know what he was like

Wrong
Everything But The Girl
from Walking Wounded, 1996

Poem, I missed you!

Don't you care for my love? she said
bitterly.
I handed her the mirror and said:
Please address these questions to the proper person!
Please make all requests to headquarters!
In all matters of emotional importance
please approach the supreme authority direct!
So I handed her the mirror.
And she would have broken it over my head,
but she caught sight of her own reflection
and that held her spellbound for two seconds
while I fled.

D.H. Lawrence - Intimates

It's true - being 'yourself' is a sure way to get stuffed into your locker. But it's okay, 'cause inside, you're singing a happy song.

Found it! The They Rule corporate infrastructure map.

More on the soul, from mimi:

[quote]
-- In the Punk Planet following the issue in which I wrote a column about Without Sanctuary, Joe Lockard writes a review of the monograph, saying, "The book's graphic and unutterable images move a soul to both despair and wonderment at human monstrosity. It is pornography in a true and most evil sense, yet the despicable images are the purest education against racism."

Wow, do I need to say this again? Here's the summary: 1) "A soul" is an abstract identification that blurs the differential social locations of potential viewers, and their relationship to the photographs. 2) "Human monstrosity" is similarly abstract, and does not speak to the historical and ideological specificity of lynching as racial terror. 3) "The purest education against racism" assumes two things. First, that simply viewing images of atrocities will necessarily inspire compassion or empathy. Not at all -- images of violence are often produced by perpetrators to document the act, inspire patriotic feelings (in the "right" population) or fear (in the "wrong" one). They also become aestheticized in Woody Allen films or punk rock record covers. Second, that racism is simply a matter of physical violence. It's not. I mean really.
[/quote]

Speaking of LJ: ridiculousness has been made somewhat public/friends again. I can't decide whether I want to go naked or wear a burka. Things are getting into hand.

It's a few locked LJ writings later and flannel's got me thinking of souls and machines and beasts, while in the nethers I've taken a butalbital to get rid of tension headache, soft technology in hard blue form. Opiates are so softly seductive, silkedged curling and whispering, touching, drawing me down to the bed. Ration them out and they whimper and whine, why one at a time? Because because because. I only want sleep and I wake at 6:30. No doubt I'll be up at two. Try to leave a record.

We all knew - it was only a matter of time. Who needs daytime teevee?

I'm spending too much time with these people. Or not enough. New LJ, not public, a poem a day for 100 days. Stolen from Tanis. Named for Rahab. Such an old story, the whore finding god. Must must.