Chapter 5, In which I print out several copies to send with my letters of apology

cf. Scribblingwoman (via J):

Did I Miss Anything                                                         Question frequently asked by                                                         students after missing a class Nothing. When we realized you weren't here we sat with our hands folded on our desks in silence, for the full two hours         Everything. I gave an exam worth         40 per cent of the grade for this term         and assigned some reading due today         on which I'm about to hand out a quiz         worth 50 per cent Nothing. None of the content of this course has value or meaning Take as many days off as you like: any activities we undertake as a class I assure you will not matter either to you or me and are without purpose         Everything. A few minutes after we began last time         a shaft of light descended and an angel         or other heavenly being appeared         and revealed to us what each woman or man must do         to attain divine wisdom in this life and         the hereafter         This is the last time the class will meet         before we disperse to bring this good news to all people                 on earth Nothing. When you are not present how could something significant occur?         Everything. Contained in this classroom         is a microcosm of human existence         assembled for you to query and examine and ponder         This is not the only place such an opportunity has been                 gathered         but it was one place         And you weren't here -- Tom Wayman