"Suppose you had been killed?" I asked him.

"I think that would have been best of all. I know I am a coward to say that. But life is so beautiful that I am afraid of it sometimes."

from Mr. Blue, by Myles Connolly

I wandered barefoot and disconsolate today after dark, trailing cigarette smoke and tinsel. It had been too long, and was much needed. I want to have a tea party with vodka and chocolate and coffee, reading Through the Looking Glass out loud with the Virgin Suicides on as background noise. It's that kind of day.