2001-07-12

Got me watching your eyes watching things go by outside out the window of a train
The clock on my microwave says 2:47am, and I'm watching Christopher Walken dance around an empty hotel. Muted. Hannah & Gabi by the Lemonheads is making me feel better right now. A mixtape entitled Only Children with an A-side labeled don't forget is also making me feel better. Thanks.

I keep getting farther away from the place that makes me create and closer to the cool gentle place that lets me take in beauty without putting it out. When I'm in that hotcold tundra, cracking with dry heat and bitter freezing, the forming in writing feels good because it's necessary, but it bleeds me gone. Sometimes it's good just to be able to drink moonbeams and let the breeze lick me clean and new, a mother's tongue making me damp and safe.

I have three mothers and a few adopted ones, and they've all got their excellent points.. but I still haven't found a mommy. Even us toughgrrrl fighterchicks need mommies, and I want one.

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